Jinxed...

Even as I type this the words are like daggers. "Chaz is sleeping through the night now that he is in a big boy bed," I said it so casually.  A slap to my well rested face.  As the words fluttered from my mouth as light as feathers, I felt immediate regret. What have I done, I thought. Take them back, take them back, I said to myself.  But alas what is done is done.
One last thought wriggled through my head...I don't believe in jinxes. I was a last ditch effort because I absolutely believe in them. 
So getting to the inevitable. Chaz did wake up last night.  I shot out of bed at 12:40am and did not return until two hours later.
Sigh...Sigh...Sigh.......

It happened...

It happened and I totally forgot to blog about it. Every mother's public nightmare. And every mother's first experience to teach invaluable public lesson on manners.
On the last nice day, I finally gave into LF's pleads for ice cream. As we sat enjoying our frozen treats a woman walked up to the window. Let me paint the picture.

A beautiful sunny day.
Temperature about 67 degrees.
A slight, but enjoyable breeze.
No jackets required.

A lady with black, long, straight hair whizzes past us sitting on the picnic bench eating our ice cream. She is wearing the most terrible pleather trench coat. Peeking out from the bottom of the coat is a flowy black skirt, black tights and black pointy high heels. Can anyone guess what LF might have said at first glimpse?

She said this exactly..."Where is that witch's broom mommy?"

I could not hold in my snicker. I still do not know whether or not the woman heard LF. And in LF's defense the woman truly did look like a witch from the back. Actually I could not bring myself to look her in the eye as she turned around, so she might have had a green face and a big wart on her nose I will never know.

I can not remember what I said to LF to correct her misjudgement. Probably something clever, off the cuff...right? But I do ask this, what is the cut off date for black pleather trench coats and black tights?

Frustration Level at All Time High

Tonight was LF's second swim lesson. Last week went flawlessly, until the last five minutes. I turned to another mom and stated,"Oh well it was worth a try, she'll never come back now." I was right.

This is how it works. We line up at the pool entrance, us and three other children. Parents are not allowed in the pool area during the lesson time, 30 minutes. Tonight, LF got changed into her bathing suit and threw a fit as soon as we hit the pool floor. So the instuctor tells me to grab a chair and sit by the side with LF and watch. So here I am so flippin aggravated already that LF is acting, well like a three year old, and now I am on display sitting in the middle of the pool area with my scrubs on and my kid crying her eyes out next to me. All the other parents watching and probably saying to themselves 'Thank goodness that's not my kid'.

And to top it off one of the mother's actually said this to me later, "I don't even know what to say to you." Uh, how about, "I feel for you", or "Better luck next week" or even "Man, she has a set of lungs on her, huh." Anything would have been better than, "I don't even know what to say to you."

Needless to say I cried to my mom and my dad, I had a bowl of cereal and a glass of wine for dinner, and I can't get myself out of this funk no matter how many times LF asks "Mom are you happy?" I want to scream in her face "NO, I'M NOT HAPPY." Instead I smirk and say, "Yes, I am happy." At least she is not making me watch the Wonder Pets.

The cake...part 2

I love that when you are little, Happy Birthday gets sung to you all the time. We sung it preceding the date because we did not want C-man to be scared when all eyes and voices were on him. We belted it out at his party. And we serenaded him tonight, just the four of us. I'm lucky if I get one chorus...right Hub?

My little man...

Today my guy turns one. How fast time flies. Is it different having a boy versus a girl? You betcha!!

• The last uninterrupted sleep I had was in the hospital with three wonderful nights of sleep aids. My daughter has been sleeping through the night since month one.


• I remember coddling LF, answering to her every whimper. Having a little boy has taught me to be a little stronger. I certainly do not jump at every little cry.


• Boy's are very lovey. When I pick C-man up from his crib he hugs me so tight and puts his head down on my shoulder. LF never, ever did that...still doesn't


• Oh and today he started climbing up onto the coffee table. And also hoisting himself over the ledge in my kitchen. (See pic above) Also he heads for the steps every chance he gets.

I love watching how C-man is growing so differently than his big sister. He definitely keeps me on my toes!

Happy Birthday!!

Happy 1st birthday to my favorite little man.

In the Trenches...

On this, the third or forth (I can't keep track) night of interuppted sleep due to teething, I feel I'm moving back towards the bottom of my trench. I had a false hope that I was climbing higher and higher out of the trench as of late.
Today my a** is dragging. I even considered writing "Don't mess with me...you will lose!" on my scrub shirt this morning.

Oh and as a side note. I have not blogged because I am exhausted. I feel like I am being pulled in every direction. And my guitar practice has kind of taken over my blog time.

Shamed...

Two things occurred yesterday that leaves me regretfully announcing...I am ashamed of myself...

1. I am the mother that the medical professional had to shoo out of the room because I was driving not only my daughter into hysteria, but the said prof into an annoyed state. (LF went to her first dental exam yesterday. Let's just say that they did not charge me for her appointment.)

2. My three year old replaced the toilet paper roll that earlier in the day I had just thrown into the bathroom. Yeah, she actually walked in and no questions asked took off the empty roll and replaced it with the new one. Okay I am the worst...THE WORST, with the changing of the TP. Hub will vouch. I bring in the new roll and place it in various places...i.e. next to the pot, on the counter, thrown on the floor from wherever I retrieved the new roll. When we renovated the bathrooms we even put in those easy to change TP holders. You know the ones that are just a L-shaped piece of brushed nickel sticking out from the wall. A one-handed action deal, no popping off of any spring loaded tubes. Hub was more than disappointed when he discovered this did not remedy my bad habit. (In my defense, I am usually juggling a baby. Well at least for the past 3 years anyway. I have no excuse however for the 4 or so years of co-ed living before the kids arrived.)

Can I climb out of my hole now?

Noise Making...

While guitar shopping this weekend, I bought LF a Kazoo. Enough said.

Flu shots...

I don't know much about autism and mercury and flu shots. I do know this. The doctors do have the flu shots without the preservative containing mercury, but you have to ask. So about 5 weeks ago I took my baby for a 6 month check up. The doctor recommended a flu shot for him because I work in health care, his sister is in daycare and he is in a home with other children 3 days per week.
Okay so, 6 months is the earliest that babies can get the flu shot. I agreed to the shot. I did not know or think of asking for the preservative free.
The first timers have to get another "booster shot" in four weeks. Flash forward 5 weeks, C-man is getting his 4 week booster and LF is getting her first ever. This time I remember to ask. The nurse says "Charlie had the one with mercury last time. Do you still want him to get that one?" I respond with a "NOOO. That's why I asked."
I am infuriated for the following reason. You would think, if they have both, they would give younger babies the mercury free. And give the older kids, teenagers and the like, the shot with mercury. Right? Thoughts please.

Why, for the love of Pete, Why???

LF has always been a good sleeper. She slept through the night at 2 months old and we never looked back. Her wonderful sitter coaxed her into two 2 hour+ naps per day. Which I greatly appreciated on the weekends. At around 18 months old she dropped her morning nap. No biggie because she still took a three hour nap in the afternoon.

Last week she dropped her afternoon nap. I was hoping that it was a one time deal. I chalked it up to a lazy morning and her truly not being tired. But alas, Thursday came and went with a sleepless day. As did Saturday and Sunday. She still gives her forty winks at school. I think now she has my ticket and she just refuses because I gave in that one time.

This is going to affect me in the following ways:

My husband might come home to me being bald from ripping my hair out.

I will now have to invest in "Chock Full of Nuts" coffee. I will be drinking alot!!

I will be saying "LF it's mommy time and you are supposed to be reading" and "Why are you off the couch?" alot.

I will not be able to blog as much. i.e. no mental release = me going crazy!

I will for sure be admitted to a mental institution earlier then expected.

This will affect LF in the following ways:

I might kill her!

She will be made to sit quietly and read for 45 minutes. (Yeah right!!)

She will be made to learn what "Mommy Time" is.

She will go through a Dora withdrawal.

She will learn to read earlier than expected. A good thing actually.

She will probably regress and start peeing her pants because she knows that she is not allowed to talk to me.

What does "Forty Winks" refer to?

Since the 1300s a "wink" meant a short nap. The number 40 was used as it represented "many" just like the biblical references to Jesus' 40 days of suffering in the desert or 40 days of rain for Noah's ark - the number 40 did not actually represent the number after 39 but rather it represented the concept of 'many'.

Is it too early to start drinking?

A Bottle Lost..A Battle Won

My son's morning wake up call usually comes at 4am. This morning was no different. We have been trying to let him ride it out until he starts to really cry or falls back to sleep. The latter never occurs. Except this morning. He was definitely up at 4 am, giggling, rolling around, and the ever entertaining sucking on his feet. Not crying though.

I went downstairs to heat my inevitable fate. I brought the bottle back to our room and watched him on our video monitor. He was still rolling around, but now there were pauses between the rotations. He was still agitated but now his eyes were closed while whining.

And then... he fell back to sleep.

I turned to my hub and said "OMG he's asleep. We won! We won!"
He told me not to call in my troops yet.

I put the bottle down, slowly and in phases got comfortable and back to sleep.

We all woke at 6:30am with my daughter announcing "Mooooommm, I uuuuupppp!!

I hope this is the beginning of a very happy night time routine.

My Man

• It was this time last year that I found out I was pregnant.
• I'll never forget it. We were tiling our kitchen floor. I was drinking a Smirnoff Ice. (Don't knock me I like them and I don't care if you make fun of me, they are NOT the same as ZIMA)

I said to hub, "you know, I don't feel right,I think I'm pregnant."

Hub said " You are absolutely crazy. No chance. It took 7 months and a trip to Jamaica the first time and we are so not even trying to get pregnant right now."

I replied "I know what I feel. I'm leaving early for work tomorrow and getting a pregnancy test."

Flash forward to the next morning...

Took test in the bathroom at work, hoping and praying that little blue line would not show. I was not ready for a baby. The little flower was too...little.

Test was positive. I took another. And another blue line appeared. I actually brought a coworker in to make sure I was doing it right.

I cried. And I cried. I thought about how this would affect the Princess. I thought that she would miss out on the attention she deserved.

I quickly came to grips.

And look at this wonderful, handsome, charming little boy. His smile will melt you.

We have a perfect family. I love every minute.

Bad Parenting???

Okay, so now you all must know that my little flower contracted the highly contagious Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. I kind of feel dirty. Like I did not do my job to protect her. Here's where Karma plays it's role though. This is a conversation and thoughts that occurred last weekend at a birthday party. Shout out to LF's Godfather.

GF: (to his wife, about his daughter)Who cares if she spills the juice down her shirt, it's contaminated with germs from the other kids and her outfit will be changed as soon as we hit the front door of home.

me: You're crazy. You can't protect her from every germy kid. She's gonna get sick anyway. Leave her alone.

GF: Whatever, he attire will be changed.

Fast forward to Tuesday...
LF wakes up with a 101.5 fever. I give her Tylenol. She feels better on Wednesday. We send her to school.

Strike One: LF's teacher says that kids have to be fever free for at least 24 hrs. She'll have to call us if the fever returns. LF should not be here, but is acting fine, so okay. I feel bad but leave her anyway.

Strike Two: LF's teacher calls at noon with the 102 degree fever report.

Strike Three: Fever is 102.9 at the pediatrician's office. The doctor yells at my husband for sending her to school. Husband blames me.

I spend all day Thursday disinfecting every toy in the house. Bleach baths for everything. From the plastic fruit to the Leggo's.

The moral: Don't knock other parents for trying to keep their kids parasite free.

My Day So Far....part 2

My two yr old just woke up. She's miserable,sweaty and has an 101.5 degree fever. And for the first time ever she absolutely will not take any medicine. Fun...fun...fun!!!

Radio Days...part two

Last week I was visiting with an old girlfriend. She is someone that I partied with...alot. She asked if I listened to Q102. I said no. Irrelevant to the story she proceeded to tell me how her 3 yr old daughter dances...rather provocatively...to certain songs on the radio. She does not know where she gets the moves though. Anyway, it got me thinking. When did I stop listening to the radio?

Was it when I got a laptop and began making mix CD's for the car?
Was it when my daughter began requesting songs? Like the Pie Song from the movie The Waitress. Or almost every song on my sister's wedding CD. We even named them after people in her life. Aunt Megan has a song,Uncle PU has a song, daddy,Pop, UB, grandmom. Thank goodness we are not in the car long. It gets very repetitive.
Either way I started thinking that maybe my youth is going out with my lack of Q102. I'm going to try to begin listening to Q102 again. I so want to be the cool mom.

When did my life go from this:





to this:

My Day So Far....

I've had unsuccessful trips to Babies R' Us, the mall, Dick's and Chick Fil A. I've been in Macy's bathroom twice. The main mall bathroom twice. And Babies R Us bathroom once. I got in a tiff with my hubby, because he wanted to meet us for lunch and I could not hold off either kid to wait for him. I ran out of the toilet seat covers that I use for my Princess. I was stuck behind an old man on the Delsea Drive on the way home. I sang every song I knew to try to keep the little flower awake until we made it safely home. I went hunting for a pink Care Bear that was misplaced somewhere this morning. I put her to bed while C-man cried his little eyes out. I was just threw up on. C-man is practically chewing my thumb off and crying at the same time. And I just recieved a text from my hubby saying to pick up a heating pad. Yeah, I'll get right on it.

What she thinks of me...

Just now my daughter, out of the clear blue and in a stern voice came up to me, in my face and said " You are so smart mommy! You're not bad?" I guess that's good. It must be something that I say to her alot. I guess I'm glad it was not an explicitive followed by "I'm gonna beat ya!"

Punjab's two liners..

Okay I promise this is the last you'll hear of the beloved orphan.

While watching Annie for the billionth time, my sister and I heard Punjab talking in the end. We looked at each other and with bewildered faces said "What did he just say?" After playing the scene again we discovered that he says "A man who counts his chickens before the hatch gets scrambled eggs". Annie herself actually looked at him and replied, "what?!?" And then as he is saving her on the train tracks, Annie implies that she can't hold on anymore. Punjab quotes Budda, "A child without courage is like a night without stars". I think he says something after that but I can't understand his low voice. We just thought this was extremely amusing. He has no lines the entire movie, and finally with about 15 minutes left he belts two one liner proverbs that not even the little red head herself could figure out.